Happy Birthday to Mom!

Fintan was a good boy today. When he gets "milk drunk" face (that half-closed eyed half smile) it makes me cry. Not hormonal cry, just that sort of "love is pain" "don't ever leave me" "man I hope nothing bad ever happens to my little angel" "how can any human being love something so much" kind of cry. I think I'm well past the hormones now. (So then, what's my excuse for still having no brain!?!?)

Yesterday he was being really cute. This morning I awoke (at 6 am - yuck) to him being absolutely adorable. I think he's just entering a new phase. I mean, he's gurgled and coo'ed and smiled a lot for a long time, but now it's really starting to mean something. I hope.

Here are some short videos of him being @*(*@!)_ adorable this morning... despite me being barely awake. What a nice birthday present!

0001 is of him doing his little soldier march - better seen in the bathtub but cute anyway.
0002 and 0003 are him talking and goofing.

We've discovered GRABBING

Good lord. He's grabbing things now. He also scoots around in his crib. My life is over.

Here's what he grabbed today:

• the curtain next to his changing table
• my shirt collar at the grocery store (nearly exposing things)
• my hand
• his bib, which he promptly shoved into his mouth

He's also drooling a lot. It's too early for teething, isn't it? Oh lordy.

Working on a Work Schedule

Getting up at 6am sucks. Er, stinks. *language language!*

Mark and I were having just a little too much fun with Guitar Hero last night so we didn't get to bed until 1am. Also, Fin was up late. I am trying to get to bed by 10 every night since Mr. Fin gets me up so early and I don't get a lot of sleep.

So I've been trying to think of what to do with my work schedule, since Mark gets home much later than I do, and we need to somehow make sure the nanny, if we ever find one, is only 8 hours a day. Here's my plan:

6am - Ingrid gets up with Fin, feeds him
6:30 - Fintan entertains himself or falls back to sleep; Ingrid gets ready for work
7:30 - Ingrid leaves for work, Mark takes over
8:00 - Ingrid arrives at work
8:30 - Nanny arrives to take over
8:45 - Mark leaves
4pm - Ingrid leaves work (that's not really an 8 hour day)
5pm - Ingrid gets home, nanny leaves (that's... 8.5 hour for her?)
6:30 - Mark leaves work
8pm - Mark gets home
10pm - We all go to bed (Fintan permitting)

Well... something like that. Maybe I get up earlier (GAWD FORBID!) and get to work earlier...

Meanwhile, here are some pics of Fin in his cute little Naartjie outfit I bought... had to get it on him at least once before he outgrows it, and it's been too warm to wear until today :) We were going to go out shopping but it's soooooooo wet and rainy I just couldn't do it.

click picture for larger view

Brain exercises for Fins & whiskers

So we buy these toys to stimulate the kid's brain, so he'll be a genius, and of course, if you're not careful, the cats, who are already genii, will make themselves at home in them. Here is Ikey taking a bath. Note the cat photo dangling over him - he wouldn't decorate his home any other way!

Then we have Fintan himself, of course, watching TV. Now, Mark and I are not big TV watchers, and I remember once telling Maria that my kid wouldn't be watching stupid Barney type things on TV. She said "just wait." Whenever someone says that to me I get defiant and... eventually I can see I'm giving in.

Here he is watching "It's a Big Big World" on PBS. And you know what, I actually kind of like this show. It's got animals and nature and simple science. However, the sloth talks like a surfer dude so it's not perfect. Anyway, he seems to like watching TV for short stints, and this one fits his schedule.

You will also see our Guitar Hero controller in the foreground. Not only are Mark and I having fun playing, but Finny seems to like to watch us play. Even though we don't "rock out" like the big stars on stage, he stares at each of us while we take our turn shredding. He seems amused by it. I can tell all the music he's exposed to is already working in his mind. If we're lucky, he'll be an auditory learner which makes tolerating lectures much easier.

What I expect from boys

click to view in it's own browser window... to see the animation.

A pic of the Crib

Okay, this is a picture of the side of our room that Fin occupies. Our room is blue and white (GO LEAFS GO) and his will be red, blue, light blue, white, natural, whatever. For now, it's red and whatever. We have a Snoopy theme going, but the two bumpers we have are too small for the crib (too short) so we are using the solid blue one instead, which fits fine. I like it better - less busy.

Fin likes sleeping in the bed over the bassinet, so the crib is a big step up for him. So far he likes it. I like that it has lots of room and I don't have to bend over so far. For now we have the crib gate down (top of it is the top of the bumper) since he's not only not rolling over but also still can't lift his head. I expect in the coming weeks we'll see signs that we need to raise it, but for now it's a relief on my back.

He's my brother after all... (pics)

After all my praying and begging and prostrating... he is my brother after all. More mellow so far, but MAN look at these PICTURES! He looks a lot like Baby Erik. I wish I had a photo digitized to compare. So, Uncle Erik, congrats, my brat has your good looks (at least for now, and when his Secret Asian Man isn't revealing itself).

Oh and I got a digital camera for my birthday (YAY!) so that means MORE PICTURES ALL THE TIME!!! :)

The divine and the devilish...

Today was a great day. Not only did we accomplish putting the crib together and moving my bed over, but the kid was absolutely divine.

Omi came last night. She had a dentist appt in Laguna this morning so she was going to stay at Kathy's in Newport, so I stayed overnight with her. Fin slept with me in the bed, Omi on the couch. It was GREAT. He was GREAT. Then today, all day, he's been very alert and very curious and VERY QUIET. In a very strange way, almost so bizarre that it worries me a little bit. But I can't complain. Anyway, then Fin and I went to dinner tonight with the Rosquis and Pig. I haven't seen Mini Goon in eons and Pam hadn't met Fin that night we went to the hockey game.

In between all that we put the crib together. We broke the headboard of my bed trying to move it (I've had this bedframe since high school, when there was a store like Ikea called STOR which Ikea later bought.) The bed is disintegrating so I'm not surprised. So we kind of forced it back together and it should hold until I get a new one.

Anyway, the crib is "devilish" red. It did not come with a mattress so we have to go get one tomorrow. But otherwise, the whole thing is fantastic. I really am glad I chose the red. It looks great with all the blue and white and the Snoopy theme stuff. I can't wait until he has his own room. I'll try to grab a photo of the crib tomorrow when it's all finished up.

Tomorrow we'll go with Grace the realtor looking at some prospective homes. I can't wait for that either. Also, my dad (Poppie, formerly Opa) will be coming in at ten and we'll have lunch before he goes off to OC to do the wine tour thing with his wine. He hasn't seen Fin since he was two days old! Anyway, it's going to be a big day tomorrow... so I better get some sleep.

Fintan Hits 8 Weeks Old!

Today Fintan is 8 weeks old. On Tuesday he'll be 2 months old. It's weird, tho, because February is a short month, so what does that milestone really mean?

Here are some accomplishments:

• Getting out and about without too much fuss
• Diaper change and feeding on outing
• Watches hockey on 46" TV*
• Spends up to 30 minutes entertaining himself
• Loves taking a bath, splashing his legs
• Pretty good motor control over his legs
• Basic, mostly instinctive motor control over his arms
  
• Holds up his head and looks around when held semi- or totally upright
  
• Looks at faces
• Doesn't imitate facial expressions but laughs at you when you make stupid faces
• Can stand on his weight for a few seconds, if held up to balance
• Holds his whiskey (just kidding!!!)
• Eats about 40 oz a day
• Has outgrown his newborn clothes, and is at the limit of his 3-month clothes
• Sleeps well between night feedings
• Seems genuinely curious about his surroundings sometimes
• Rides in the sling
  

* I'm not sure what he sees on the TV - he's attracted to bright lights so I imagine the bright white glare off the ice is enough to command his attention. If he's like the cats, he also sees the dark dots (players) moving around, which should be interesting.

Today we had a jaunt to the Wildlife Waystation to drop off some donated goods, and then to Nun's for some excellent Thai food. Nun and Dad were surprised to see us, and Nun, after cooking our food, just sat beside him like a good grandma :) She's so cute. (She's a grandma herself, and she and Dad are Thai immigrants who barely speak English and run a tiny little restaurant where they cook the food in front of you and there are no tables, only a tiny bar.)

Then we went home where we watched the Leafs get their butts handed to them by the Rangers, and after that we went to Chicken Cafe to get another of our favorite meals. The cashier said "Oh so you've had your baby already!" which we think is funny because I haven't seen her in about 10 weeks and it's not like we know each other, but we're clearly recognizable customers. :) That's one of the things we love about our community - being recognized as if we're among the movie stars who also frequent these places.

Anyway, that's all for this posting. We're just anxiously awaiting the arrival of Aisling (Baby Kesinger), who is due any day now!

Happy St. Patrick's Day

Living up to his name, Fintan Reilly is having a good ol' time getting blasted with some good whiskey in his little shamrocky outfit that says "Kiss me, I'm Irish." (Please take this with good humor - no babies were harmed in the making of these photos.)

I bought a Maya wrap sling a few days ago and it arrived today. It's pretty kewl. I don't recall ordering black but that's okay. It'll match everything. After all, black is the new black. Or whatever. It is holding him in his favorite position now, and he seems to be liking it. I'll try to get some photos.


Hope everyone who celebrates St. Party's Day has a fun, safe, and enjoyable experience. Don't drink & drive!

(Pic 1 = Fin hits the bottle)

(Pic 2 = Fin hits the floor)

(I only wish I could have gotten a pic of him spitting up, too. It woudl add to the effect. Haha!)

A Reflection on Bad Mamas

I am a bad mom. I am too selfish to be a mom. I spend about 50% of my time whining about having little to no time to myself, and 50% of my time counting the minutes to my mother's next visit. (Or any adult who can watch the kid responsibly while I do my own thing.) I dream of having a nanny during the day (and night, actually, at least until he sleeps through it) so I can write or do whatever I need to do.

My mom pointed out, when I told her this, that it's because I'm not used to focusing on one thing for so long. It's true. I'm an intellectual multitasker (and a physical one, too) and to just sit and hold a baby for an hour -- feeding, rocking, singing, burping, consoling, etc. -- is very taxing in a very indescribable way. So you see, it's all me! It's always all about me! :P

Bye-bye, me!

By the way, I'm joking about the bad mom thing. I mean, it's all true, except that I don't think I'm a bad mom. I'm sure I'm not the only mom who feels that way sometimes. A baby is demanding and at this age there's no telling him otherwise. He knows only me and my care and my love. And he has no way of communicating other than to annoy me until I figure it out. :) Poor kid. It's really hard being an infant.

It's only because he's THIS CUTE that we mom's keep going and going and going!

Yay, more pictures.

Okay, so below is some evidence that Mark tries to be a good dad. :) hehe

Here they are watching the Leafs game last night. Aren't they cute? Tell me they aren't the two best looking men on the planet! (Okay, reserve your opinions and let me have mine!)


Compare this picture with the one above. Note Mark's complexion, and Fin's below. Now, Fin doesn't always have this dark complexion. It's usually paler like in the photo above. But once in a while he morphs or something - no it's not a trick of the light - into Secret Asian [Little] Man.


And then today we went for a very long walk to visit the very nice mortgage broker lady and then the very nice realtor lady took us to the very nice townhome Mark wants to buy so I could guage it's size and stuff again. And then we walked home. All of this within 1 mile.

He was getting hungry on the way home so he started munching his fingers. Unfortunately he had been all smiles and giggles until I finally got the camera out...

Today is much better!

He slept until 9:20 am! This is a dream come true. I got up at 9 and hopped in the shower, washed my hair, man it feels good. Got out and dressed just in time for him to wake up. Then he got his bath (which he loves) and clean clothes and a sling ride for about an hour while I ate, washed bottles, sorted and loaded laundry, straightened up the bathroom, and brushed my teeth - all with one hand. Now he's in the neglectomatic (swing) and enjoying his colorful fishie mobile.

In the bath he saw me bathing another baby (mirror). He seemed to think that was pretty cute and giggled. He's been all giggles this morning. WHY CAN'T EVERY DAY BE LIKE THIS? :)

On a totally different note... Mark found this cool video of Fintan's favorite hockey player, Peter Forsberg. (Remember him? #21 like Mama? NHL debut was 1-21-95? :) Go watch it! And note, he was #14 at one time in his life, just like Mama.

Just another one of those days

A few people have told me, once you get a routine going, he will make a new one. Well, we're definitely hitting an evolution in our daily rhythm.

First of all, I am just having another one of those days. The kind where nothing seems to be right. Fuss fuss fuss and no results. The best thing I've done all day is give him an extra 2 oz of food after a bottle and I think that might be part of the problem. He's now going to eat 5-6 oz!? Fine. Because his 4 oz at night isn't lasting 3 hours any more. If 6 oz will get him (and me) some longer sleep cycles, you bet I'm for it.

Unfortunately, I don't have any bottles bigger than 4 oz. So I bought some online. I was using Dr. Browns and I like them a lot because they don't use the collar-bubble system to prevent the vacuum from forming in the bottle. However, they are a pain to wash. We tried some "ergo" Evenflo bottles but I don't like them as much (although, I guess they are 6 oz). I also have tried some Avent bottles, which have a very wide neck and collar and a nipple more like a breast, though not sandwiched, just round. These I like a lot. They do use the collar-bubble system but it seems to be fine.

Other than that, I'm exhausted, jumpy, annoyed, and frankly I think I'm coming down with something. Of course, I say that whenever I'm so exhausted I can't move. Plus my (upper) back is killing me. I just can't seem to get into any kind of comfortable position lying down, sitting up, feeding, or whatever. Ah well. At least the kid is finally "entertaining himself" for the first time today, which means I can do things like... budget to see if we can afford to buy a townhouse... and compare nanny vs. au pair costs... and dream about moving closer to my mother...

More Outings & Stuff

Yesterday (Friday) Omi and I went on a loooooooooong day-trip to Ikea to get my much-needed office furniture. This furniture is important so that I can rearrange my "office" and open up the living room, hide some of the cluttery objects (like joysticks and microphones), and make the room a little safer for our future toddler.

Fintan held up like a trooper. He had his first public diaper change (and oh my goodness how disgusting was that changing table!!) and his first public feeding (thank goodness for the pre-made bottles of formula that you just pop a nipple onto... very handy!!). He did very well but I am sure glad Omi was there to keep an eye on him. It would have been hard to open the changing table, get him out of the stroller, make sure I had all the things I needed (mainly a clean diaper) and so on... without taking my eyes off him or having to leave him unattended on the table. I had my own changing mat and stuff of course but ... ewww.

It was a good day out and we all enjoyed it, but when we got home Poopyhead was overtired and cranky. You'd have thought it would be easy for him to conk out but he is a lot more awake during the days now and he just wouldn't turn off and fussed a lot. But no biggy.

He's eating about 3.5-4 oz every 2-3 hours during the day now, and entertaining himself for as long as a half hour in some of his little chair-thingies. And he only poops once a day which makes it very convenient (although he's gone twice today). He seems to love his bath now - kicking and splashing and generally enjoying himself. I swapped out the white bears on the bassinet mobile with some colorful cat toys and he seems to like them. He talks to them a lot :)

Unfortunately Omi left without me downloading her photos because my computer had moved to its new location... so we'll have to wait for her to send me a few.

Valley Boy Goes to the Mall

What kind of Valley kid would he be if he didn't go to the Galleria!??! For three hours mom and baby shopped, or, well, more like strolled around the mall. I was looking for some new "professional" attire - suits, business casual, stuff I can wear to the client that actually fits my new, wider body - but of course we also had to stop in all the baby stores - Baby Gap, Naartjie, BabyStyle, Gymboree, etc.

There were lots of moms and kids and pregnant ladies at the mall, though most with toddlers. Fin was very good, sleeping most of the time except for a moment or two in Macy's where he let loose the lungs of fury then promptly narco'ed out again.

Omi is coming today so I can go to a Pepperdine event tomorrow. However, having nothing to wear to the event, I may end up not going. I should call or email Gina right away so she knows not to meet me for breakfast, if at all... not to mention i have a splitting headache. My sinuses are so dry that I am sure they are all just one big scab in there.

Anyway, Omi should be here any moment. And you know what Omi means? (Besides sleep) Omi means LOTS OF PHOTOS!!! :)

By the way, I should say two other things.

1. THANK GAWD FOR THE NEGLECTOMATIC SWING. Sometimes it is the only thing that can get him to stop crying. (Sometimes it gets him crying, but not usually.) I just feel badly because sometimes he just has that "I'm being neglected" face and wimpers a little bit.
   
   
2. He has been "entertaining" himself a lot more lately. He'll stare at the mobile for longer than 5 minutes, or just stare into space. He giggles a lot, or talks to the mobils (the bears or the fishies). I bought him one of those lie-on-your-back-and-stare-up-at-the-stupid-dangly-things gym set thingies because he should be able to reach up to those and stuff, as opposed to the mobile above the bassinet and above the swing seat.
   

Doctor Update - Growing Boy!

Fintan is in good health, and his poops (or lack thereof) is normal and okay.

11 lbs. 7 oz.
24 inches

My Geek Child & Other Discoveries

My child is a geek. At least he will be until he gets some plastic surgery on his ears.

You see, my child was born with pointed ears. Now, to normal people this "abnormality" could be considered appalling. I can already count the thousands of dollars that must be spent on children born of Elven heritage to "correct" this minor deformity. But to two geek parents, this is pretty damn cool! In fact, we might have to have his left ear tweaked just a bit to make it match the pointiness of his right ear. They can't be asymetric, now, can they?

It could be a lot worse. He could have my mutant webbed toes.

We prefer to think of him as an elf rather than a Vulcan. Although for Halloween a little Romulan haircut would be easy enough to complete a costume...

Did I mention he has seen the entire original Star Wars trilogy already? And he didn't cry once. Not even when Han was encased in carbonite or when old, ugly Anakin (formerly Vader) is burned on his funeral pyre. Or when Yoda passes on to the next world. Nope, the kid enjoyed it all. He also enjoys the new Battlestar Galactica series.

We call him "the kid" a lot. Han calls Luke "Kid" a lot. See the connection?

Speaking of mutations - his skin gets a spontaneous red webbing on it for unknown reasons. I thought maybe when he's cold, or when he's really mad, or... who knows, really. I can make no connection. Could it be a sign of future mutant genes? Will he have to go to Charles Xavier's School for Exceptional Youth? (At least it would be in New York. Dad would approve.) I'd be proud to have a child with superpowers! Why, even in the womb he exhibited the ability to alter electromagnetic fields (or at least to amplify my power to do so) by causing lights to flicker, computers to crash spontaneously, and of course, interfere with his first ultrasound...

Here's his right ear. Pretty cool, eh?

What happened to Ingrid!??!

"Ingrid hasn't posted in a while. I wonder what happened!"

What happened is... SLEEP. The MIRACLE OF SLEEP. Yes, I can feed the kid and burp and change him and rock him back to sleep in the course of 30-45 minutes at night. And then go back to bed myself. And he sleeps usually 3-4 hours at a time at night, so it's really easy to get good sleep. So I'm sleeping instead of writing up blog posts while pumping.

What's amazing is that I can wake up at 1:00 am and 4:30 am and be totally alert and functional, but I can't for the life of me get up at 7:30 am. It's pretty normal for me - I get my best sleep from 6-10am. Has been that way all my life. It's weird, tho, that I wake instantly when the kid gurgles his first indication of waking up in those nightly hours, but his post-dawn awakening and crying and neediness fall on deaf and semi-conscious ears. I can sleep through anything from 6-10am... how did I ever get up for work!?

Unfortunately the boobs aren't quite drying up yet. They are doing well, though... engorged but not painful (any more), no really bad hard spots, no fever or indications of mastitis. I pumped last night and got about 2 oz but I didn't want to overdo it. I think I'm going to be okay physically. It's the emotional toll of feeling like my body failed me, that I'm not giving my kid the very best. When you read the label on any can of formula it starts off with "Breastmilk is best... but if you're going to do formula then this stuff rocks." Okay I made that up but it says something like that, as if they're required by law to make you feel guilty about giving up the boobs before touting their product.

I'm also trying to get the fear of the breastfeeding fanatics out of my mind, especially those I might encounter at Mommy & Me yoga next week. Gawd forbid my child get hungry and need me to whip out a boob to feed him right there like all the other moms in the class. If anyone would confront me - which they never would, leaving me unable to defend myself - I would probably just burst into tears of rage.

Okay, got to go to bed... hope you missed me! By the way, here's the cutest picture recently...

Week 5 & More Grandfolks

Mark's parents are here. Fintan seems to like them. Mya cooked us a nice dinner and Vern is busy burping him and making him sleep. Woohoo! They'll be here for a week, staying at a hotel within walking distance. It will be a great week of food, rest, and (gasp) chores!

I'm terribly engorged already so I have to pump a little bit. I am trying to stop pumping before my boobs are empty, but I'm already getting some hard spots. Tomorrow I need to get the sage tea and cabbage. Until then I have to pump at least a little bit. I am also supposed to try ice packs... but that seems like it will only make those hard bits harder faster. I'm okay with this slow transition process because, well, the kid really should be getting my milk for as long as possible. Who knows, maybe I'll strike a decent balance. It's still kind of regrettable since I've been working so hard at getting my milk production up and now I'm going to let it go back down.

Oh and I should mention that the kid pooped today. Yes, after about 36 hours. And man was he saving it up or what! It's a good thing I put the "larger" diaper on him. Up the back, the front, everywhere - but it all stayed in the diaper. About two hours later he let out another big one, but not quite as big :)

Meanwhile, here are some recent photos...


Grandma and Grandpa Harwood with Fin


Isn't he a little devil!


Evidence that he likes the mobile... for about 5 minutes.

Production Management

Production management- no I'm not talking about web sites or movie-making. I'm talking about weaning. Although I cherish the breastmilk like gold and although I consider myself more in the breastfeed only camp, I simply must change tactics here. I am going to slowly wean the kid onto formula for sanity's sake (and quality of life issues for all of us) which means I have to slowly decrease milk production without damaging anything.

The pain, the hassle... woe to those women who can't bf properly. I'll be the laughing stock of the yoga class, being the only one with a baby on formula who isn't whipping out her boob every time the kid wants a nibble. But such is life. Those women don't have to spend 2.5 hours per feeding, or schedule the feedings, or ration the food. Their breasts or nipples may be sore, chapped, cracked, blistered, engorged, etc. - but so are mine, and it's far worse not to be "in demand" and have to worry about when I actually get to relieve it, because you can't pump with a kid in your arms. (Okay, some women are apparently able to do this also.)

SO no more beating myself up. I grew up on formula and many other babies do too. I totally know milk is best for the kid's health, but he got a good start and I gave it my all, all things considered.

By the way, he's constipated. Now I must go look up what to do when he's constipated. Hasn't had a poopie come out in almost 24 hours. He's farted, so there's no blockage as far as I can tell, but somewhere that normally wet poopie is backing up, and you can see every so often he wants to push something through. You can hear the gurgling in his gut, but nothing comes out. Normally he poopies at least once per feeding, if not more. He's urinating a lot, but no #2. Let's hope this doesn't turn into something more serious.